Taking Ownership of My Day…One Day at a Time

Back in January of this year, I wrote a blog post about the negative mindsets that I was giving up in 2018. It was a super upbeat cheerleader post about ways in which I was encouraging myself to live more positively. I’m not going to lie, I’ve had to go back and reference said post more than 10 times already this year because parenting is hard. It is really easy to fall into negative mind traps when tiny people are yelling at you. But one aspect of that post has successfully been incorporated into my everyday thinking and made a really positive impact on my life…I have been taking more ownership of how I spend my time, and it’s been pretty amazing. 

I’ve stopped saying, “There isn’t enough time” and started actually prioritizing how I am going to spend my time. I try to approach each day with an agenda of how I would like to utilize my day. Of course, this is easiest when the kids are on their normal school schedule, as opposed to the snow day/early dismissal/delayed start/spring break situation that we seem to have going on lately. But even with these curveballs, I start my day with an agenda that pleases me. My end goal being that, at the end of the day, I can honestly and without bad feelings say “this is what I made time for today.” And it feels SO GOOD!

Each day offers it’s own blend of what needs to be done for the family and what time is my own to utilize. I might accomplish eight useful errands or I might take some time to aimlessly poke around at the local shops. I might make a Pinterest worthy dinner or we might have grocery store rotisserie chicken. I might get in a class at the Y while tiny people are in school or I might put on a movie for the kids so that I can ride the Peloton before dinner. I might just say, “Screw it, we are going to play at the nature center and have pizza!” As long as I can say at the end of the day: “I am happy with how I spent my time today.” 

Recently, my daughter was off of school for spring break and I decided to take her into New York City for the day. What day we chose was of course dependent on the babysitter’s availability to take care of the two children that were being left behind…which happened to be a Tuesday, and sadly, my day for morning yoga and evening barre class. I love my Tuesdays because of these classes! But it was my one chance that week to have special Mommy/Daughter time, so took it.

My poor husband very cautiously asked if he could still go to his evening swim class even though I was missing my two chances for personal time. The 2017 Erika would have allowed herself to feel like a martyr to her children and gotten all passive-aggressive on the poor guy. Yikes. Thankfully the 2018 Erika could look at this situation and say without regret: “This is how I have chosen to spend my day. It was MY decision and it means missing my class, which is okay for today!” It felt so good to not have this conversation turn into a big fight, as it has often played out in the past.

Wow, not only has my mental state improved with my ability to take ownership of my daily decisions, but now my marital interactions are improving?! In the past, we have had so many fights when my husband would ask if I did XYZ that day and I would instantly get defensive because I had so much to do each day and there simply wasn’t enough time! It feels so much better to change my mindset and reply, “Nope, I didn’t make time for that today.” Because if there is one thing that parents know to be true, there’s always tomorrow.

How can you take more ownership of your time?