I distinctly remember the first time I got my hair done after my son was born. It was about a month after I gave birth, and my mom said to me, “I’ll come watch the baby, why don’t you go out and do something for yourself?” Naturally I wanted to get my roots highlighted, since that fell by the wayside for a majority of my pregnancy. I was still in a fog at that point in my life, completely sleep-deprived, still sore, and I was definitely fighting some post-partum blues. My hair colorist, who has 3 children of her own, knew I was not myself. We talked about the birth of my son, his (lack of) sleeping habits, and all the usual baby chit-chat. And at one point, I looked at her, probably with complete confusion, and said, “How do you do it with THREE?!” She just looked at me, smiling, and said, “You forget.”
Forget what? The sleep deprivation?? The labor pains? The 6 (or more) weeks it takes for your body to recover?
I looked at her in complete disbelief, and said in a deep, serious tone: “I will NEVER forget.”
I looked at her in complete disbelief, and said in a deep, serious tone: “I will NEVER forget.”
Well, fast forward 11-months, and my son turned 1-year old. All of a sudden, my husband and I felt like we had a little man running around the house! We started talking about whether we wanted another child, and a few weeks after that, the decision was made for us! Baby #2 is due on 7-11! (Free slurpees for everyone!)
While we are over the moon excited, I am also terrified. The thing is, I haven’t “forgotten.” Now, whenever my friends have babies, a part of my heart aches thinking about what they’re going through the first few weeks. (And the other part gets jealous of the elation they’re experiencing).
And while everyone tells me I’m doing Jake a huge favor by giving him a sibling who will love him, I also wonder how this is going to change “our” relationship. I decided a few weeks after I returned from my maternity leave that I would stay home permenantly, (freelancing occasionally), and since then, it’s been me and Jake. Every day. Pretty much every waking moment. We’ve had an amazing year, taking swim classes at Chelsea Piers, yoga classes at Family Tree Yoga Studio, Stroller Strides, Kindermusik classes, and spending any remotely warm days at the beach. How will he react to this huge shift in our schedule, and the family dynamic?
Well, just like I wasn’t the first or the last woman to have a baby, I’m also not the first or last woman to have TWO kids, so I welcome any and all advice from parents who’ve gone from having one to having two. Is it easier the second time around, or tougher with two? And on a fun note, how did you reveal the news?
I am so excited to be a part of the Fairfield County Moms Blog, and connecting with you all. While this is a crazy time in my life (did I mention that I’m 19-weeks pregnant and still morning sick? Lol!), I look forward to sharing my experiences as a mom who loves to travel with my son, and take advantage of everything that Fairfield County has to offer.
I only have one child myself but I read on a blog from a mother in the same position as yours her thoughts: it’s true that your second child isn’t going to have the same experience as your first and neither child is going to have as much attention as you were able to give your first BUT your second will get lots of love and companionship from your first. And that is it’s own special thing.
I am 33 wks prego with #4. The biggest thing that I have learned is that you have to fight that urge to never let anyone else help out with the new baby. You have to give up the total hands-on experience that you had with the 1st baby because now you HAVE TO give uninterrupted time to the big kid(s) you already have. They are waiting for your attention. Of course, I thought. But actually handing my new baby to someone else and IGNORING her cries so that I could play cars with my big boy was really hard. I try to give “special time” to each kid EVERY DAY. It has changed the dynamic in my house in such a positive way. The kids listen better because they feel seen and heard. Good luck!