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Fake Resting No More

Recently I was having coffee with a dear friend, when she mentioned she was reading the book, Present over Perfect by Shauna Niequist. Since she was not the first person to mention it to me, I asked her a little bit about it. Immediately she started talking about the idea of fake-resting.

It looks like I’m resting, too. But I’m not. I’m ticking down an endless list, sometimes written, always mental, getting things back into their right spots, changing the laundry, wiping down the countertops…I fake-rested instead of real-rested, and then I found that I was real-tired. {Shauna Niequist in “Present Over Perfect”}

Are you nodding your head now? I was at this point! After almost seven years of being a mom, I too, have perfected the art of fake-resting. I was so intrigued about this topic that I immediately went home to research more about it. 

Fake resting is when the rest of your family is legitimately resting. They are watching TV, doing puzzles, they’re playing games on their phone; they are doing whatever they want to do. You look like you’re doing that, you’ve got your pajamas on, maybe a cup of coffee in your hand, it’s Saturday morning. But on the inside your internal engines are just a mile a minute. {Shauna Niequist in “Present Over Perfect”}

When I read this quote, my eyes started to tear up. I became overwhelmed with sadness. This was my life. For good or for bad, I finally understood why I was perpetually tired and cranky. I also came to terms with why I had anger toward my husband. He actually tries to help out, regardless of what it looks like to me. It’s not his fault he honors himself, and actually sits on the sofa to watch the game (insert whatever sport is in season) or favorite TV show live. The nerve of him when there are dishes in the sink!

fake restingAs 2017 wound itself down, including my big 4-0 birthday a few days before Christmas, I decided I would fake-rest no more. I made this my gift to myself. In fact, it’s the one and only resolution I’m setting for 2018. Now, when I take that first delicious sip of coffee in the morning, I don’t do it with my phone in my hand checking email. Instead, I look out my window to savor the experience. When I’m driving, I try to remember to sing along with at least one song, rather than anticipate the next five things I need to get done. I’m hoping that by putting an end to fake-resting, I will feel a weight lifted off my shoulder. 

The opportunity is there for me to leave things undone, for me to lower the stress level in our house a little bit, for me to choose a less complicated path, and I’m the one that she keeps choosing a complicated, to-do-list, push, push, push, way of living. {Shauna Niequist in “Present Over Perfect”}

Have you perfected resting or are you a closet fake-rester? 

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