My weekends are filled with mom duties in order to prep for the coming week and maybe catch up on some Netflix. Being a single mom, I recently realized that it has been some time since I went out on a date, or even thought about any romantic interests. I admit I do miss those late night texts, simple “good morning “ texts, and inquiries into my evening plans. I think it’s funny how the little things can mean so much.
In my mind I would love to have a steady lineup of suitors whisking me away on romantic dates. However the reality is, there is no steady line of eligible men. I have tried online dating, and the occasional texting conversations that seem to go on for weeks, but nothing was really worth my time. There has been some romance, yet I find myself still single. When parenting alone, how you manage your time is important, and for me, whom I spend it with matters. Wanting to meet someone new is important to me. Some people may say that I have not put that much effort into meeting anyone, but let me tell you why I refuse to do anything more.
A year ago after some encouragement from a friend I tried online dating. I was told that it would help me put myself out there. I admit, although it was difficult to schedule the occasional evening out, I did it. Effort is important when dating and unfortunately none of my online prospects turned into anything romantic. There was just something unnatural about online dating to me. Flipping through endless photos of men trying to pick out someone I felt comfortable with – just by looking at a photo. Then there were the guys looking for a quick “hookup.” Need I say more?
Call me a hopeless romantic. I always felt that I would not find my true love online. Since I never put in much effort, I like to think that you get out what you put in. Therefore I gave the online dating a rest. I know someone is reading this thinking “why not,” or “it’s an easy way to meet new people.” I agree, and recommend it for anyone getting back into the dating game. In the end I like to think that online dating helped me get my “ sexy back.”
A very important thing to remember when dating is to remain open. I began to open myself up, and although there were no sparks from online dating I did meet someone. It was an old friend and there was a mutual attraction. I was more open to this sort of relationship because it felt organic. There was no hiding behind a screen or putting on any unnecessary air of interest. It felt nice to finally talk to someone that did not require me to decipher body language in order to know if he liked me. There was small talk that brought a smile to my face, and a connection that I needed. It was a nice escape, but we both wanted different things. I wasn’t satisfied with the occasional get-togethers. I needed someone that would be there whenever I needed them, when the weeks were hard and the nights were long. In other words, I wanted something serious and permanent.
What I have learned since beginning to date again is that I had been pressuring myself and accepting the slightest bit of attention because I didn’t want to be alone. Currently I am not dating anyone and I am good with that. At times it gets difficult being alone. I will no longer accept less than what I want, and most importantly, less than what I deserve. I doubt I will do online dating again, however anything is possible. It is important to remain open to knowing that one day I will meet someone.
I encourage all my single mothers out there looking to date, to please continue. Ladies, do not fall for the pressure to settle. Believe in love and trust that “Mr. Right” is around the corner, or hey maybe “Mr Right Now” depending on what you’re looking for.