Today marks your 5th birthday. Your 5th birthday. The 5th anniversary of me becoming a mom. This has been an adventure I’ll never be able to say I shared with anyone else. YOU made me a Mom for the very first time. You and I had many firsts together. 5 Years in the Making.
You were by all definitions a model baby. You hardly cried. You nursed so well. You slept well. You burped and pooped well. You made me feel like mama-hood was easy.
At two months old you took your very first airplane ride, cross country, from Denver to New York, for a sad event, your great Grandad’s funeral. I remember all the advice I received about flying with a new baby. So I strapped you to me in your Baby Bjorn, nursed you during take off and landing, and there was not a peep from you.
At four months old, another plane ride. This one, more difficult — you weren’t as content to be constrained for 4 hours.
At six months old, you started swim lessons…which you LOVED.
At eight months old, another trip to New York for another wedding!
Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas…I have all the firsts of 2012-13 documented with care in your baby book and scrapbook.
But here’s the thing; I mentioned it before…you made ME a Mom. we’ve been on this adventure together for 5 years now. We continue to learn and grow together. There’s no book that I got telling me what to, and what not to do.
This is a process each Mama has to go through on her own…the journey is hers. Raising a human being. Wow. What a job that is to be charged with.
I know I yell too much. I don’t pay attention enough. I am distracted. I let you eat in front of the TV. I let you eat junk [sometimes].
But I hope you know (and revisit this someday if you’re in therapy), that you are my miracle. We hoped and prayed for you. We had trouble conceiving you. And in those early days when I was more exhausted than I ever thought was possible I reminded myself of that. In these present days, when you’re sick, or whiny, or cranky….I remind myself that you are my miracle.
YOU have the kindest heart. You are a special boy, and I know someday you will be a special man. You are thoughtful, and empathetic. You are kind, sweet, and sensitive. You are helpful and smart, brave, and strong. You are a protective and loving big brother.
I have been charged with raising you. I have been given the gift to be your Mama. I hope that as a whole, I am doing right by you. This has been 5 exhausting, challenging, enthralling, and gratifying years in the making, years that I’ll forget too soon. Years that go by in the blink of an eye. Years that despite the struggles I wouldn’t change…and hopefully we’ll continue on this adventure hand in hand, heart to heart, for a long time to come.