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What “Two Under Two” Has Taught Me About Myself

In about a month my oldest daughter will turn two. “Two” means a little more independence, a little less control, and a lot more emotions. For the last year I have been the proud mom of two under two. In my Back to Back Babies post, I shared what it’s like to raise two babies that are not twins. In all of the chaos, it’s easy to feel depleted, inefficient, scatterbrained, and unequipped. But every once in a while I am reminded of how these babies actually bring out the best in me.

So if you’re feeling inadequate, take a minute to think about the positive traits you now have because of the babies you brought into this world. Here is what two under two taught me about myself…

I am a whole lot more patient than I ever imagined I would be. In times of utter panic or stress, often times I feel myself slowing my breathing and meditating through it. I’ve never meditated in my life, but somehow these kids taught me how!

My organizational skills are off the chart. With varying schedules and a full-time job I have no choice but to pack lunches on Sundays and have set days for laundry, vacuuming, and cleaning the bathrooms. That’s a gift that “two under two” gives. You need to be organized in order to survive.

Sleep? What’s that? Who knew that a human can function, and function well, on minimal sleep? I am extremely lucky to have solid sleepers, but even though they sleep, it doesn’t mean I can. I lay in bed and start creating mental notes of who needs a new pack of wipes for daycare, when the last time I changed my sheets was, and whose bridal shower gift I still have to buy.

I’m finally ok with delegating tasks. I’ve always been somewhat of a control freak. In this season of my life I have no other option but to hand out jobs like they’re candy. I won’t lie, I still suffer from major guilt when I find myself asking my mom to watch the girls on the weekend but if I try to take on everything myself, I might just combust.

My multi-tasking skills have drastically improved. On any given day you can find me wrangling my 10 month old while she’s twisting to get out of diaper changes, while singing the ABC’s along with my older daughter, as a pot of mac and cheese boils on the stove, and the laundry beeps to remind me it’s done. Meanwhile my computer has five tabs open. Pinterest, to find that chicken recipe I made last year, lesson plans for my K-5 classes, e-mail, Fairfield County Moms Blog to remind myself I am not the only one living this life, and my credit card bill which is somehow way more than I thought it would be. I wish that was a joke.

I am a career woman. Being a mom was always my ultimate priority. But that doesn’t mean I have to give up my career to be a mom. Being a mom taught me that structure, work, and work/home balance really works for me. I worked extremely hard for my undergraduate and graduate degrees to not use them and I’ve worked just as hard at being a mom.

Finally, and most importantly, I am happier. Yes, I am busier, the most exhausted I’ve ever been, and lost my brain somewhere between both pregnancies, but I am also happier. This is what I’ve always wanted.

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