In my mind I had an idea of what being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) would be like and I was jealous of every mother that got to do it. I went back to work after having both of my children. My second child was about 6 months old when I quit my job and decided to stay home full time. I was really excited to not have the stress of a job I grew to hate, and this was my time to dig out of the dark hole I had found myself in.
It’s been about a year and a half and I am still struggling. I constantly find myself trying to validate my worth; as a mother, as a wife, as a friend. Does my husband think I’m lazy if the kitchen is a mess when he gets home? What about my friends, do they think I’m worthless because I “don’t do anything” outside of the home or can’t attend every social gathering? Is my online business that cliché that no one takes it seriously? And money, can I use money I earn from my business for ME or should it go back into the house/savings/to my kids? And (most importantly) is this loneliness normal?
I went to one of my favorite moms groups (you can follow their blog here The Lil Mamas!) and asked the experts, “What is your biggest challenge and most rewarding challenge staying home?” The majority of moms agree that loneliness, the feeling of motherhood as a never ending job, and getting over the guilt of having “me time” are big struggles.
My biggest struggle (if that’s the right word) is that there is no start and end to my day. I wake when the first child wakes, I sleep when the last one falls asleep. And it’s a constant GO in between. When I was working I had my commute to prep my mind for the day, I went the bathroom to take a break, I really enjoyed when I was still pumping and got to chill out for a bit, and at the end of the day the computer was turned off and I went home. Now, I am embarrassed when I don’t know current events and sometimes all I want to do is lay in my bed and watch Bravo at 9pm, and not pass out. I find it mentally exhausting and I think its time for a major routine makeover! It’s so easy to just wake up and wing it. With my oldest in school 4 days a week I should be able to come up with some semi formal routine for myself and my little man. Right?
As far as the most rewarding things, there really doesn’t seems to be a difference between a working mama and a stay-at-home mama. We are all just happy to watch our kids grow, progress and be healthy!
Do any of you mamas relate? Comment below!