Hi, my name is Elisabeth, and I am a selfish parent. Whew. There, I said it. Gosh, it feels so good, doesn’t it?! They always say the first step is to admit you have a problem. Well, I admit it…except it isn’t a problem and I’ll tell you why!
A Selfish Parent is A Better Parent
When I was in my mid-twenties and a die-hard workaholic, my boss gave me some of the best advice to date. He and his wife were leaving for a romantic vacation, sans children, and he had that dreamy, far-off look in his eyes. He was excited to go, save for the few criticisms fellow parents had thrown his way at the time. “You know Elisabeth; it’s like this. I am a better parent when I take time for myself and my wife. I’m more patient and understanding. I appreciate the time with my children and my wife more. My wife and I are better partners when we take time together. And a healthy relationship is the best example for your children.”
I tucked that tip away for the next six years until my husband and I got married and started our family. To this day, self-care and our relationship remain a top priority, and all the rest falls into place.
Creative Ways to be a Selfish Parent
All kidding aside, there are a multitude of ways for you to work in alone time and adult time with or without the kids. Here are a few ideas:
- Mini-vacays or date nights: Call the grandparents, book a wine tour or a concert date, and voila!
- Integrated birthday parties: I’m known for throwing big parties, but the truth is I do it just as much for me as I do the kids. It’s hard coordinating with friends and family, especially with all of the competing schedules and activities. With enough advance notice, a party is a perfect way to reconnect! The kids will entertain themselves, and you can spend some QT with your long-lost pals and quirky Aunt Jane!
- Quiet time: Once the kids give up their naps, it’s tough to find time for yourself. Implement a mandatory quiet time mid to late afternoon. The kiddos can play in their room while you “mask,” read a book, or chat up a friend. It gives you both a break and some time to reconnect with yourselves.
- Break up the chores: So my husband loathes grocery shopping, and I happen to love it. Okay, you take the kids, and I shop. Alone. Ahhhh, the joys of wandering the grocery aisles in peace.
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