I took a 6-month maternity leave after the births of each of my two children. I was so fortunate to have had that much time off to bond with each child and to adjust to the changes in our family as it grew. I can remember during each maternity leave, despite my best efforts to stay present and make the most of each day, the internal countdown clock inevitably began a few months in.
My return to work was always looming. Like many other moms, I had anxiety about going back. The idea of being away from my kids all day kept me up at night. Plus, how on earth would I juggle it all?
A daily commute to the city, a demanding job with long hours and international travel, daycare drop-offs and pick-ups, keeping our home clean and functioning, and the list goes on. People do it all the time, I told myself, it’ll be just fine.
To appease my inner control freak about the uncertainty to come, I decided to focus on a few of the things that I was anxious about and used the last two weeks of my leave to prepare for working mom life. If you recently added to your family and are preparing to return to work soon, here are four practical tips that worked for me and helped ease the transition:
1. Get in some “me time.”
We hear it constantly, but it’s really true: self-care is so important. As moms, we are so focused on taking care of others that it’s easy to forget to take the time to care for ourselves. I still haven’t come close to striking a balance in this department, but before going back to work after my leaves, I made time for a haircut, dusted off my heels, and invested in a few new work outfits that made me feel professional again. There are a lot of things I miss about maternity leave, but nursing tanks aren’t one of them! I got a new work bag that would accommodate my laptop, files, and pumping supplies. Get a massage, paint your nails, go for a run – whatever makes you happy. Take the time to do a few things that make YOU feel good about yourself and more ready to face the day.
2. Transition to daycare/care provider.
We started daycare part-time a few days before I went back to work, which meant that my husband and I could spend some time there with each child as they transitioned. We got to know the teachers, the other kids and parents, and their daily activities. Our kids each adjusted to a new environment, and having familiar faces there with him seemed to help. Whatever your childcare arrangement is, if it’s feasible for you to ease into your new routine over a few days, I highly recommend it. It brought us peace of mind and a level of comfort I don’t think we would have had otherwise.
3. Prepare for your commute.
Like many Fairfield County moms, when my kids were babies, I commuted into the city every day, so I purchased my monthly train pass in advance, tested out my garage access card, and filled the car with gas. I mapped out the train times for my new military-style schedule (gone are the days of staying in the office until 8 p.m.!) and tested out the drive from the train station to daycare at rush hour to be sure I knew the quickest route. Whatever your commute entails, a practice run can make you feel a lot less jittery on your first day back. Even if you are now working from home – as so many of us are thanks to COVID-19 – it can help get into your new routine a few days in advance, if possible.
4. A Sunday well spent.
The weekend before my return to work each time, I finished the laundry and cleaned up around the house. I meal prepped some easy, healthy, grab-and-go options for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I made and froze some baby food since we had started solids at that point. I picked out a few outfits and hung them in my closet to make getting dressed quicker and did the same with my kids’ clothes. The fewer things you have to worry about or even think about that first week back, the better.
Above all, remember to go easy on yourself.
We can be our own worst critics sometimes. It’s a major transition, and it takes time to get back into a (new) groove. Some things may go wrong, but know that nothing is permanent, and you can make adjustments if you need to. Lean on the other moms in your life for advice and support, and remember you’re not alone. In no time, it will feel like this has always been your routine!
