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Parenting Hypocrisy

Parenting Hypocrisy

I like to think I am a woman of my word. Of course I can talk the talk and walk the walk, and I stand by my ideals. Then I had children and now every single day (sometimes every hour) my beloved minions make me fall into the traps of PARENTING HYPOCRISY!

Example #1

What I think: Please keep your hands to yourself. Stop touching your sister! Yes, that includes your feet… I will staple your hands to your head if you don’t stop touching her!

What I do: Oh my gosh, the lighting is perfect, you guys look adorable. Please Scooch closer and give your sister a big hug. Say Cheese!

get in the carExample #2

What I think: Please walk…please walk… STOP running in the house!

What I do: You better put a little pep in your step and RUN into this car because we are late. No, I need you to actually RUN. Get in the car. Get in the car. Get in the CAR!

Example #3

What I think: We only color on paper and we never color on the walls.

What I do: You can totally color on this small piece of wall I painted with special chalkboard paint. But only this small section. I am more than confident that your 18 month mind will grasp those very specific boundaries.

Example #4

What I think: Please use inside voices. Contrary to popular belief I do not move faster when your voice reaches DefCom 10.

What I do: Grandma is really hard of hearing so you need to talk VERY loudly when we go to her house.

Example #5

What I think: Sharing is caring!

What I do: Unless we are talking about MY phone, camera, bed or dessert… those are MINE and I am not sharing.

parentingExample #6

What I think: Oral hygiene is extremely important and we always brush our teeth before bed.

What I do: Dad is working late and the Bachelor starts in 5, can you just hop into bed and skip the whole 20 minute tooth paste smearing ordeal?

Example #7

What I think: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

What I do: Donut Delight drive thru eaten in the car on the way to school totally counts!

Example #8

What I think: We are leaving in two minutes. This is your warning.

What I do: Oh wait, I totally forgot to send that email, start the laundry, and load the dishwasher. I can do that all in two minutes.

Example #9

What I think: Our family rule is that we always try one bite of a new food.

What I do: SPIT it out! Dog food does not count as a new food, neither does the green gum you found on the playground park bench.

Example #10

What I think: It is our general belief that we should always use a proper toilet and refrain from urinating on our lawn, in the pool, or on the playground mulch.

What I do: Peeing in the ocean when the bathroom is a sandy mile away is totally cool with the fishes. And when nature calls while Mom is running and you are in the stroller, peeing on a tree is also fine. It is called a drip dry.

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All the time!

Are you a parenting hypocrite too?

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