If you and your kids come to my house for a play date there will not be an elaborate plan of what the kids will be doing. There will be no slime making or scavenger hunts. If you look at my social media accounts you will not find Pinterest worthy meals prepared by me and my children. Nor will you find an endless amount of pictures of all the amazing things I did with my kids that day.
The truth is that I’m not that mom. I’m a lazy mom.
Let me preface this with the fact that I don’t believe ANY mom is really lazy. We all work extremely hard in keeping our families functioning, our kids happy and healthy all the while trying to keep our sanity. Quite frankly I feel that social media has created this space where we are silently (and maybe unknowingly) competing against each other as to who can enrich their child’s lives the most.
Whether that be that every single moment of the weekend is filled with an activity specifically for the child. Or pictures of children in front of amazing ingredients about to prepare a meal. If you are one of those moms and truly enjoy those activities I applaud you and I’m in awe of you. I’m just not one of those moms. I’m lazy. Let me describe what I mean.
I’m sure this will get me in trouble but I don’t play with my children. Well let me rephrase that. I don’t play with them for extended periods of time. Two rounds of Candy Land is about all I can muster. I’ve been known to stack the deck just so someone wins fast. Let’s be real – that game can take FOREVER. I’ve had rounds where my daughter and I have gone through the entire deck of cards twice! I thought I was going to scream if she pulled one more candy card.
My son loves cars and trains. So maybe I’ll sit with him and set up a track and show him how to maneuver the trains for a while. After about 10 minutes I’m so bored I feel like I could die. Conveniently by that point he’s lost just as much interest in me sitting with him as I have with Thomas and Henry.
What negative repercussions has this had on my children? They know how to amuse themselves. Yes they ask me to help them with something or fix something for them, but in the end they know they are their own entertainers. I hear my son creating little narratives between his trucks and trains and my daughter will sometimes just pull out a book and start reading.
Here’s another one which will probably get me in trouble. I never used that “potty training” method of putting the kid on the potty every 20 minutes. To me, that’s not potty training. That’s taking trips to the potty with a child who’s not ready to use it and getting lucky. I don’t have time for that. Even if I did, I still wouldn’t do it. I chose to wait with my daughter until she was over three. I put her in underwear and let her have accidents. She had three accidents total and was completely potty trained in three days. The effort of bringing a child to the bathroom every 20 minutes is just too much for this lazy mom to handle.
My son is a different story. He’ll be four in July and is still in pull-ups. I’m pretty sure he’s ready to be potty trained because he knows how to hold his bladder but he’s now enrolled in pre-school five days a week with an hour bus ride each way. He leaves the house at 11:30 a.m. and doesn’t return until 4:00 p.m. I know that whatever progress we make will vanish when he goes to school. I’m sure there are ways to circumvent that, but in the end I don’t want to. This summer I’ll use the same method I used with my daughter. Why? Because in the end it’s easier on me. I don’t know why, as moms, we are afraid to admit that we choose not to do something (or do something) because it makes our lives easier.
Transitioning To A Bed
My son, who again will be 4 in July, is still in his crib. Yes you read that right. I’ll give you a second to pick your jaw off the floor. At this point I have no reason to transition him to a bed. Why? Because the kid LOVES his crib. He’s has his animals he snuggles with, a monkey he uses as a pillow and a fuzzy little blanket with dinosaurs on it. Why would I take him out of something he feels safe in to put him in a twin bed? No, I won’t waste the money on a toddler bed. Is there some type of detriment to his development that I don’t know about if he stays in the crib?
I am grateful for two kids who are great sleepers. I don’t want to take the chance taking him out of his crib where he sleeps nearly 12 hours, and put him in a bed so he’s up at night. Sleeping is something that I thoroughly enjoy. If there is something that might effect that, I avoid it at all costs. We’ve been on vacations where we shared beds and he is all over the place. When he and I shared a bed I slept normally, he slept horizontal above my head so we looked like the letter “T”. I don’t care that he’s still in his crib. It’s where he’s comfortable. Would he eventually get comfortable in a bed? Sure! Do I want to deal with the meltdowns that will happen trying to get there? No. Again, because I’m lazy.
Being Lazy Is OK
I’ve accepted the fact that I’m a lazy mom. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. My children know I love and care for them. They know I’ll be there for them no matter what. I don’t need to play Candy Land 1,000 times a day to prove that to them. I’m also not judging the moms who can sit and play with their kids all day, who potty train early, and get their kid into a bed as soon as they can walk. You moms rock! The moms who are like me – you rock too!