When I was a young adult, I honestly never imagined I would have children. I didn’t like kids all that much (they scared me, frankly), and I couldn’t really see myself as a mother. There was so much I wanted to do; one of which was to be a stage manager on Broadway. I was working my way toward this goal when I went out on a date with this guy I had been chatting with on an online dating website.
Well, fast forward four years and that online date turned into marriage. After I met my husband, I realized I actually did want children. I’m not exactly sure how that happened or what changed in my mind, except maybe he reminded me somewhat of my dad, who I obviously feel is the best father ever.
Although I was in graduate school in a very intense and competitive environment, my husband and I were almost 30 and made the decision that we wanted to start a family relatively soon. Never did I imagine it really wouldn’t take all that long, and 10 months later, our son was born. I was in a really bad place, dealing with severe postpartum depression almost immediately after he was born. This was NOT what I had imagined motherhood would be like. I felt like I had made a mistake. Maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a mom. But I was in it; no turning back now.
When my son was a few months old, I heard about this new blog, Fairfield County Moms Blog, and immediately followed it. It is surreal to me that I’m now a contributor. I thank the blog and its writers for being there when I was up for 24 hours straight; when I cried while rocking my young son just waiting for my husband to get home from work; when I celebrated as I graduated from graduate school with almost a 4.0 GPA and an 18 month old; when I wasn’t sure I could handle another child after everything I’d been through with my first; when I found out I was pregnant with identical twins; when I exclusively pumped for them for 15 months; and when I finally reached out, after six years of being a loyal reader, to see if they had any space on their team for a new contributor.
I’m so excited to be a part of this amazing team of women. I’m excited to have an outlet to be creative.
Back when I was a young adult, I really didn’t think I’d have even one child, let alone three. I watch my children play together (and now that my twin girls just turned two years old, they can actually PLAY with the 6-year-old!) and am absolutely amazed at what we have.
I sometimes think back and wonder what my life would have been like if my husband and I had made the decision not to have children. And then I push that idea right out of my head, because at this point in my life, NOT having them is now the scary thought.
I’m so glad to be here! Thank you for allowing me into your lives to share my perspectives on motherhood!
