Mom Hazing: Parenting Overly Curious Kids

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curious children

Up the nose? No problem.

Picture it: Easter Dinner. The table is set, the food is still warm(ish). And the guests are seated. I’ve just sat down myself, and as I begin to enjoy the food, I reach over to my 6-year-old son, whom I’ll refer to as Buddy. I give him a little rub on his back. He’s at the “kids section,” which is our kitchen island. He has been playing with LEGOs from the Easter Bunny all day, even at the table with his meal. He slowly turns around with a panicked look on his face.

Without even asking, I knew. “Buddy, did you stick a LEGO up your nose again?” He nodded. So I said, “Well, you know what we need to do.”

Without alerting anyone, I grabbed his arm, took him into his bedroom, shut the door, and blew into his mouth while blocking the other nostril. I was immediately hit in the face with the LEGO and snot.

“Thanks, mommy, I’m sorry, I forgot.” We went back to the table, and our guests were none the wiser. Happy Easter, right?!

This sort of thing plays over again and again with my little guy. I realized that having a son, at least my son, is like pledging a fraternity that I never wanted to pledge!

LEGOS in the nose, stitches on the tongue, concussions, licking a stamp pad, and vomiting everywhere. The list goes on.

Poopmergency

This fall, I was on the phone with my dad one day, and Buddy was home sick. He was going to the bathroom, and the door was closed. He came out and went into his room, and I went into the bathroom to wash my hands while still on the phone. It was like a horror movie.

Apparently, he was “doing an experiment” that involved touching his poop! He tried to wash it off his hands, but it was EVERYWHERE, all over the sink and toilet, the floor, etc. He obviously tried to “clean up” the evidence, but it was impossible. It was all over him as well. I lost my temper and threw him in the tub while I commenced the most disgusting clean-up job ever while 8 months pregnant with pneumonia. Sigh.

Now I have to remind him every time he poops not to touch it. And he only listens about half the time! If he’s not making poor hygiene choices, he’s always one second away from going to the emergency room.

Whether it’s climbing up high places and jumping off or swinging from furniture, he’s always so close to a serious injury that I’m sure I’ve lost several years of my own life due to being in a permanent state of fear. Is it gender-based, personality-based, or just curious kids?

Now is this boy stuff? Maybe? I don’t know; he’s my only boy. My older daughter, Peanut, has also made questionable decisions (pencil lead in both ears because she was “bored during writing” in school) but is overall more careful and less prone to injury.

Maybe it’s Buddy’s sensory processing issues combined with attention deficit disorder?  Or maybe it’s just his curious personality? I guess that it’s both.

Mommy, I love you!

Despite the constant feeling of waiting for the next crisis/gross event, Buddy tells me he loves me about 300 times a day. And even when I discipline him, I can do no wrong.

Having a son is a self-esteem boost, even if I’m always dealing with some mess.

He is also super cute, which really helps me stomach the challenging and unpredictable day-to-day experience of parenting this boy.

Who is with me in the fraternity of moms parenting impulsive and curious kids? Do you feel like you are being hazed by your boys or girls? What strategies help you navigate overly curious or fearless kids?

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jasmine
Jasmine is a local mom who lives in Fairfield with her husband and three children (born 2010, 2013 and 2018). She is a psychotherapist with a focus on women in life transition, especially the perinatal period. Her private practice is located in downtown Fairfield (BetterSelfCT.com). Jasmine was born and raised in Connecticut but spent her college and graduate school years in and around New York City. She has worked as a psychotherapist since 2007 and is passionate about helping others to reach their goals. Jasmine is still trying to get the hang of this parenting thing, 10 years into it. In the two hours after her children go to bed, she enjoys a good glass of wine and watching the latest Netflix series with her husband. She also loves the beach, supportive mom friends and baked goods.

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