The Only Mom Advice I Ever Really Needed to Hear

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phaseWhile pregnant with my daughter, now 2.5 years old, I received plenty of well-meaning advice from veteran moms. Now that I’m pregnant with my second—due in July!—I’m revisiting some of that advice and finding most of it to be kind of, well, not helpful. When it comes to raising a child, I’ve found one piece of advice to be universally helpful:

This is a phase. It’s simple, yes, but I bet if you lay any kiddo situation on the table, it will probably apply. Here are some key times when “This is a phase” has been the only thing I needed to hear.

The exhausting first months. Some people told me, “It gets better,” but that never resonated with me. It doesn’t necessarily get “better”—it’s really not that bad—it changes. Plus, it’s not like midnight wakings never happen after the first few months. Waking every couple of hours in the middle of the night is a phase. Anytime my daughter goes through a sleep regression, I remind myself it is a phase.

Issues with nursing. I had an overactive letdown while nursing. The milk came out so quickly that my daughter would literally choke on it. There were times I thought maybe I should quit, but my wonderful lactation consultant told me it was a phase, and she would eventually adapt, which she did.

Separation anxiety. This is something my daughter has struggled with on and off since she was born. There are times she needs to feel the security of mom and dad, which can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t last forever. It’s a phase, and I don’t miss the extra hugs.

Being super sick. My daughter had 13 ear infections in her first year. We were constantly at the doctor’s office, constantly on antibiotics, and it was exhausting. She got ear tubes when she was 11 months old and hasn’t had an ear infection since. That was a phase, and I’m glad it is behind us.

There are many more scenarios—tantrums, fussy eating, bathroom habits, etc.—that can fall into this list, too. Right now, we’re dealing with some toddler regression since we’re expecting baby #2, but it’s okay; it’s a phase!

What’s the best mom advice you’ve ever received? 

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Vera Sizensky
Vera is the digital director for HealthyWomen.org, a non-profit organization that Dr. Oz calls "the leading health resource for women." Before HealthyWomen, Vera spent several years editing and producing content for the popular digital editions of SHAPE and Women’s Health magazines. Nothing makes her happier than connecting with women who work hard and play hard. Vera earned a journalism degree from the University of Florida and lives with her husband Brian and daughter Lena (born 8/25/13) in Southport, CT.

3 Things About Vera
Fill in the blank: If I had 10 minutes to myself, I would: "Take a long, hot shower."
Describe your perfect day: "Exercise, beach, nap, evening on the back deck with a glass of wine and the fire pit roaring."
Favorite thing to do in your spare {ha!} time: "Discovering new places—restaurants, playgrounds, hiking trails, etc."

Twitter: @VeraSiz

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