Just Say, “How Exciting! That’s Awesome News!”

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do not sayOkay. Listen. Pregnant women have feelings. Feelings like no other time. Raise your hand if when you were pregnant or shortly thereafter, you received a not-so-nice comment. My hand is super high! WHY do people think it’s okay to comment on how big, how small, how wide, how narrow, how whatever you’re looking while you’re pregnant?

One of my personal favorite stories is that a particular woman that worked in the cafeteria at my old job CONTINUALLY asked how many babies I was having. I waddled out of the cafeteria, month after month, and every time I could count on her fake-naïve question. Sure enough, I just had one baby, even though she was positive I was the next Octomom.

Rule #1 When a pregnant woman says she has 5 months left to go, DO NOT gasp loudly and ask, “Are you sure?!” Yes, I’m sure she knows her own due date, and thank you for now putting horrid thoughts in her head and making her more uncomfortable about her growing body.

Rule #2 When a pregnant woman says the gender of her unborn baby. DO NOT say, “Aww, I’m sorry, try again, and I’m sure you’ll get that boy/girl!” Instead, try “How exciting! That’s awesome news!”

Rule #3 When a woman says she’s pregnant with her second baby, DO NOT say, “Oh nice, get both kids out of the way early.” What does that even mean? Are you assuming she only wants two kids and that she wanted them close in age?

Rule #4 When a woman has one child, DO NOT ask, “So when are popping out another one?” There’s no reason to ask anyone this! How do you know if this person isn’t struggling with infertility? Does this family even want more children? Can they afford more children? Don’t ask. Period. The same rule applies to a recently married couple!

Rule #5 When a pregnant woman says she’s pregnant with one child, DO NOT ask, “Are you sure?” This insinuates that she has multiple babies growing inside of her large belly. She’s sure. Very. Sure.

Rule #6 DO NOT ask a woman if she conceived naturally. Ever. She’s having a baby, a natural baby. Try saying, “Congrats! I’m so happy for you.”

Rule #7 When you see a woman pushing a stroller with what appears to be a new or fairly new baby, DO NOT ask her when she’s due. You’re rude. That is all.

Rule #8 When you see a fairly petite pregnant woman, and she says she’s 8 months pregnant, DO NOT tell her to eat or that her unborn baby isn’t healthy. Again, you’re rude.

Rule #9 DO NOT ever say, “You’re still pregnant?!” If it feels like forever to you, imagine carrying that baby, having swollen ankles, peeing your pants, not fitting into anything, and barely being able to walk. Instead, try, “Can’t wait to meet that little one!”

Rule #10 Always compliment a pregnant woman and shower her with support and love.

Does anyone have an outlandish story to share? I can’t wait to hear them!

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