In Case of an Emergency

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One of the most poignant things I ever heard was, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him what you’re going to do tomorrow.”

A few weeks ago, my family and I were planning to go on a much-needed vacation. We were so excited and literally counting down the days. Then, out of nowhere, my husband started experiencing stomach cramps. At first I didn’t think much of it since his stomach is usually sensitive. But I was wrong, and it ended up getting so bad he went to the ER at Stamford Hospital where a catscan revealed that he had diverticulitis. (Simply put, he had bad inflammation in his large intestines).

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He ended up spending almost TWO weeks in the hospital. In an instant I was left by myself with our 18-month old, worried sick about what was happening with my husband at the hospital. I quickly learned a few things that I’d like to share with you, hoping you never have to go through any kind of serious emergency. But as we all know, “life happens,” and it helps to be prepared for any type of event that is out of the ordinary, especially when kids are involved.

Have a team in place: I don’t have a nanny, but you can bet that a few weeks ago I wish I did. Fortunately though, I was able to rely heavily on my parents and in-laws, who took turns coming to the house to watch my son while I went to the hospital to visit my husband. I know in a bind I can also call friends and neighbors. It’s good to have these names and numbers in place, just in case.

Keep the fridge and pantry stocked: The running joke in my house is that I go to the grocery store every other day. Trips with a toddler can be a bit daunting some days, so I tend to get whatever I need for a day or two, and high-tail my way outta there! This did not help when my husband went into the hospital and I didn’t have enough milk to give my son the next day! The last thing you want to think about during an emergency is going to the grocery store, so always try to stock up for at least a few days. Costco comes in handy for this, and there are always delivery services like Peapod and Fresh Direct if you can’t get to the store yourself.

Accept help: This is something I always have a tough time with, but in an emergency when people say, “What can I do?,” give them something to do! Tell them to cook a lasagna, pick up some groceries for you, come watch your kid, or whatever else you feel comfortable with. Odds are the people asking are the same people who YOU would do something for, so don’t be shy.

Maintain a sense of normalcy: My son is still too young to know what’s going on, but he had to guess something was strange when all of a sudden dad was missing and his grandparents were over everyday watching him! I tried to bring him to a few of the classes we normally go to, just to maintain his regular schedule, but it was tough since I was at the hospital a lot. It was also tough on my son because his bedtime routine always involves my husband playing the guitar for him! So we had to make adjustments and he was stuck listening to me sing to him instead. By the end of the second week, I finally brought my son to the hospital to visit my husband because it was killing my husband not to see him. (I was initially trying to avoid germs, but after a week I just said — forget it!)

Cry if you need to: I always try to maintain my strength and composure in front of my son. He may be young, but kids can be sensitive to emotions. I tried to be stoic those two weeks, but at one point, when we weren’t sure why my husband wasn’t getting better, I just broke down. My parents came over and my dad hugged me, and I JUST. LOST. IT.  And you know what? I felt better! I had so much pent up emotion, it was good to release it. Call a friend, or accept a hug, and just– let it go. As mothers we are often the ones most stressed out about everyone else’s emergencies, that we forget we need an outlet sometimes too.

Count your blessings: If you’re at a good point in your life right now, and everyone is well, give thanks and pay it forward. Trust me, this pays dividends when YOU need the help.

Me and my boys taking our postponed vacation, feeling very grateful!
Me and my boys taking our postponed vacation, feeling very grateful!

While we are extremely fortunate that my husband did get out of the hospital, and we were even able to take our postponed vacation, he’ll be back in a few weeks for surgery, and you can bet I’ll utilize some of these tips. And in no way do I want to exaggerate the severity of what happened to us. There are certainly worse emergencies to deal with, like death, cancers, etc. We are grateful that his surgery is considered “routine,” and we pray that all goes well. And come July, when we have baby #2, we’ll be relying heavily on these tips as well!

Do you have any other tips for dealing with an emergency?

 

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ericazb
Erica lives in Stamford with her husband Peter, son Jake, and their (100-pound!) rescue dog Sampson. Erica was a News Anchor and Reporter for 14-years before resigning from her full-time position to spend more time at home with Jake. Last year, she won a NY Emmy for her work at News 12 CT. Jake and Erica keep busy with music classes, yoga, and swimming. Erica loves to travel, and spent some time as a volunteer in South Africa in 2009, where she jumped off the highest bungee bridge in the world! She and her husband love to SUP (stand-up paddle board) around southwestern Connecticut, and can't wait to teach their son!

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