And the seasons they go round and round, and the painted ponies goes up and down. We’re captive on the carousel of time. We can’t return, we can only look behind from where we came and go round and round in the circle game. – The Circle Game – Joni Mitchell
Lately, I have been having a terrible case of growing pains. Not for me, but for my children. The littlest things can get me teary-eyed. The abandoned swing set at my parent’s neighbor’s house. The series finale of Parenthood. The sentimental slogan of Carter’s: If they could just stay little…All glaring reminders that my children are quickly growing before my eyes and there will come a day when they won’t –gulp- need me. At least not in the way they need me now.
They weren’t kidding when they warned that with the start of elementary school life goes into fast forward. My oldest is already 70 days or so closer to second grade. Suddenly I am finding myself in unknown territory. It is the start of making choices on how much independence we would like to give her and what she is ready for. The hardest thing for me to wrap my head around is what can she safely do in the crazy world of 2015. When I was her age, the start of independence meant playing outside with my neighborhood friends, sleepovers, and drop off birthday parties. I want to start letting her do those things, but I am also plagued by news stories that offer tales of truly horrific things happening once you do. I am pretty sure horrific things were happening in the 1980’s, we just didn’t have the internet constantly reminding us of them daily.
But, seriously, at what age can we just drop them off at a birthday party? I feel like I will be stuck going to these things until she is 13! And, is it okay to send her into the library alone to retrieve her left toy so I don’t have to take little brother in and out of his car seat on a rainy day? (Hypothetically speaking, of course!)
I am just so worried that one day I will make the wrong choice, be too easy going, and I will never forgive myself if something bad happens. I recognize that we have only just begun and with each new stage of my children’s life there will be even harder decisions of what is allowed and with whom. The best I can do is prepare her for this world and teach her to always speak up if anything makes her uncomfortable. I may not always be there to hold her hand but hopefully she can carry my advice in her heart.
If they could just stay little . . . Thank you, Carter’s, I am fully aware that I had it good back in the days of 3T. I didn’t know it then, but I know it now. Growing up is hard for everyone including mama!
Feel free to leave some advice in the comments on starting the road to independence. I’d love to hear it!
