I HATE HALLOWEEN.
There, I said it. In fact, I always have. When I was younger, as a child in the 80s, we mostly made our own costumes. If we did score a store-bought one, we had to be careful that the cheap, sharp plastic mask on our face didn’t cut us or that the plastic costume didn’t rip as we walked. When we finally got home from collecting candy, all of it needed to be checked and often chucked for fear of razors in apples or poisoned candies.
As an elementary school teacher, the torture of Halloween continues. There’s the mandatory parading and costume-wearing for all. The worst is the “Halloween Hangover” the following day. Between the extra sugar and shortage of sleep, everyone is a real life zombie!
Halloween is the new Christmas. As a mom, the pressure to have the PERFECT costume begins on September 1st. If you are one of the fortunate ones whose child(ren) knows exactly what they want to be and you can score the costume at a decent price, awesome. If you’re like me, your child will change their mind at least a dozen times over the next two months, causing you to buy a minimum of three costumes just so you don’t get stuck without one.
Speaking of costumes, let’s evaluate the costumes geared toward boys versus girls. Boys get the super heroes, monsters, presidents, and sports figures. Girls are stuck with princesses, singers, and anything with a short skirt as they get older (and women don’t have it much better – let’s be honest). Thankfully most of the costumes which were culturally inappropriate and offensive have gone to the wayside.
Then there’s the pressure to trick or treat with the right group. When my kids were younger, I could get away with a quick 20 minute stroll in our neighborhood at 5 p.m. Now we have to go with friends to the most lucrative spots and run the whole time to get as much loot as possible.
When we finally make it home, the sorting begins. As a family managing food allergies, none of the candy actually gets consumed by my children. They trade it in to the Switch Witch for a gift instead. (My husband and I fight over the Reeses Peanut Butter cups! More joy!).
This is why I hate Halloween. So when you see me parading and trick or treating, know I am counting down the minutes to November 1st….for that is the day farthest away from the next Halloween.
