That crazy mom
I am grieving the loss of our pediatrician. I know I sound like a crazy person, but I am. Last week, when I heard that our pediatrician was leaving to practice in another county, I went into a full-blown panic. Who will be there if my children got sick or hurt? Who will help advocate to the school nurse about the very minor health issues my children have? Who will follow up on my children’s growth and development and make sure things do not get missed? And finally, who will be my go-to, when I don’t have the answers? I definitely went through the five stages of grief when I heard this news.
The 5 stages of grief
First, there was denial. Perhaps the receptionist got it wrong when I called to make my son’s well-child appointment. Surely he couldn’t be leaving. I refused to believe it until I heard it from him directly. However, a few days later, he personally confirmed that he was, in fact, leaving.
Next, came anger. Why did nobody tell me this sooner? Why did I hear it from a receptionist, instead of the doctor directly? If I hadn’t called that day to schedule my son’s well-child exam for this summer, would anybody have even told me? How could he abandon us like this? We still haven’t resolved all of the ongoing issues we are having with our kids.
Then, there was depression. I couldn’t eat or sleep. I only slept a total of 12 hours in 5 days. There were days where I didn’t eat a thing. My thoughts raced.
Next, there was bargaining, although, I’ll be the first to admit, my stack of bargaining chips is quite small. Was there something I could say to make him change his mind? I’m certainly not financially wealthy, especially by Fairfield County standards, so I couldn’t exactly use money as a bargaining chip. Really, there was little I could do to change the situation. He was leaving, and we had to let him go.
Finally, there is acceptance. I’ll admit, I’m still working on this one. When you’ve finally found that one-in-a million doctor who will go to bat for your kids, it’s tough to let them go.
What makes a great pediatrician?
We had the greatest relationship with our former pediatrician. He was somebody I could speak with openly and honestly. He became one of a handful of people I trusted blindly and completely to act in the best interest of my children. He always asked for my input, and addressed each of my concerns at every single appointment. The appointments never felt rushed. He never made me feel badly for calling with questions, and actually, encouraged me to speak out and question things, and advocate for my kids.
While we were under his care, our family experienced something incredibly traumatic and challenging to overcome. Something that directly impacted our children. This pediatrician stayed by our side, as we fought for our kids. He wrote letters to the school nurse and the school principal on our behalf. He conference called in to our PPT meeting, and asked for written copies of school records to follow up. When our children’s issues became more complicated, he appropriately referred us to neurologists, developmental pediatricians, and sleep specialists, as we continued to discover more complex things about our children’s conditions.
The very best thing this pediatrician did was encourage me to advocate for my children. I now question teachers, doctors, principals, even superintendents when I don’t understand something they’re doing for my child. I speak up when something doesn’t seem right. I’ve applied this confidence and ability to advocate to my professional life too, and, as a result, I’ve grown as a nurse too.
Answering my questions and my doubts
Because I trust our former pediatrician’s judgement and opinion immensely, I have no doubt that the doctor he recommended to us will be nothing short of outstanding herself. As we wait to get to know her, and develop a relationship with her over the next couple of months, the questions remain. For now the answer is me; I will do it because our former doctor gave me the confidence and skills to do so.
What do you love most about your pediatrician?
Need a recommendation for a great Fairfield County pediatrician? Check out the FC Moms Blog contributor team recommendations here.
