“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”
― Alexander Pope
One of the steepest learning curves I have had as a mom is reconciling my expectations for how something is going to go vs. how it actually unfolds. I have a bad habit of planning for events with the Little Monkey with a vision in my head that is not entirely realistic. The way I imagine things rarely includes temper tantrums, picky eating, missed naps or all of the general unpredictability that a 21-month old brings with them. Here are just a few times that my unrealistic expectations for my child – and myself – have taken a left turn and left me an entirely different situation.
My vision: How wonderful! We will teach our baby to be comfortable in the water, frolic and play in the pool and enjoy a generally lovely family bonding time over shared aquatic fun.
The reality: The Little Monkey turned out to hate the water, screaming during his first couple of classes, doing the arched-back maneuver when we tried to get him to use a pool noodle, and whimpering sadly while shivering. We’ve persevered and it’s gotten better, but nothing like what I envisioned.
Halloween
My vision: I’ll hand-sew an adorable costume (never mind that I don’t have time or the ability to sew) that the Little Monkey will happily wear. We’ll attend his daycare party and parade, and take adorable photos with his friends. We will have a generally adorable holiday worthy for sharing on social media.
The reality: I bought a costume on Amazon. The Little Monkey spent the duration of his party and parade alternating between playing solo in the sandbox and chasing the unlucky child who came dressed as Elmo around, trying to hug him. He also resisted every photo I tried to take.
The Restaurant Meal
My vision: We’ll go out to a family breakfast! Since the Little Monkey happily eats eggs at home, he’ll certainly eat them in the restaurant, allowing my husband and I to enjoy our coffee and meals, and it will be a beautiful memory.
The reality: The Little Monkey doesn’t want his eggs, preferring instead to try and drink my coffee. Ignoring the books and toys I’ve brought along with me, and the crayons the restaurant has given us, he wishes to either play with the knife next to his dad’s plate or tear up napkins and fling them on the floor.
I have an energetic and spirited child, and I would not have it any other way. So while it is rare that my expectations for a situation jive with the reality, I’ve resolved to not leave those events disappointed. Getting through a swim class without crying might not be the happy splashing moment I imagined, but for us it’s an achievement. Maybe the Little Monkey didn’t want to pose in a costumed row with all of his friends (I’m still wondering how the parents who take those photos manage to get that many toddlers to sit still at once…), but he had fun playing and – in his mind – met a real celebrity when he saw that poor child dressed as Elmo. Maybe our breakfast out wasn’t the sweet family meal I imagined, but it was filled with laughter. Instead of trying to live up to the unrealistic hopes I’ve set for the Little Monkey – and myself – I try to roll with the punches and take the victories we do have.
What is a time your vision for an event didn’t match what actually happened?
