Changing the Pace with ‘Slow Parenting’

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slow parentingThere is no doubt about it: we live in a fast-paced world. And, for most of the year, we fill our days with schedules so that we can fit everything in as the days whir past. In the years after my children were born, I’ve tried to strike a balance between getting things done and not over-scheduling ourselves. It is easier said than done, since just trying to keep up with cleaning the house, grocery shopping, dinner making, paying bills, keeping the peace between siblings, taking classes, teaching and answering questions, and working on a side business can fill up a day so quickly. I usually turn around and wonder where the day has gone.

The pressure to keep up with all the information and opportunities that come our way can also wear away our “down” time so that it feels like anything but. We rush around to visit family and get together with friends. My family schedules vacations where we have to leave before it is even light out to beat traffic. We look at the calendar and wonder when we will have a weekend with nothing to do. We go on trips that become such a marathon of activities that my husband and I wonder as we stress to fit it all in, “Are we having fun yet?”

I am not (entirely) complaining because it is a blessing to have such a wealth of opportunities where we live. But I am saying that it is hard enough to keep up with the things we need to, never mind the things we want to do.

Then, I stumbled on this article about “slow parenting” by Jaci Conry. I thought at first, we’ve got this. I mean, at my house, we are already really good at being slow. Getting out the door with a 4 and 2-year-old seems to take at least an hour of preparation and compromise. And still, as we’re walking out the door, someone will realize they have to go to the bathroom, or spill something all down their shirt, or lose the shoe they had in their hand a minute ago, or trip and fall and NEED a Band-Aid. It seems hard enough to be on time, never mind fast. We might not be good at everything, but we are good at slow.

As I read, I learned that part of slow parenting embraces a Zen-like tolerance for being slow. Yes, it is good to take a deep breath and realize that if you are a few minutes late so that someone in your family is more comfortable, that is not a big sacrifice to make. When we’re not frantic parents, I think most of us can appreciate the sense in this concept.

But at a deeper level, slow parenting isn’t just about being “ok” when things move slowly; it is about CHOOSING to be slow ON PURPOSE. Kids naturally do this. Everything is new to them, and everything seems worth stopping to take a closer look.

Recently, my family went on a big family trip with our extended family: grandparents, aunts, uncles. It was a jam-packed itinerary with stops at museums, aquariums, nature hikes, and wildlife sanctuaries. We were on a schedule! We had so much to do and see before it was time to go home!

But do you know what my daughter remembers the most from the trip? The one memory she brings up over and over again? It’s when she and her grandma decided to go on a long walk back to our hotel room so that they could learn how to catch moths together. That’s it. Ten extra minutes that could just as easily have been robbed to get her to bed “on time.”

Isn’t it nice to be “off-time” to catch these special moments? Do we really need to fit it all in as much as cut things out? As fall and school and schedules approach, I will try to remember to CHOOSE SLOW and say no to those things we really don’t want or need to do. Time is going fast enough. We don’t always have to get swept away.

What are your thoughts on slow parenting? 

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