When I found out I was pregnant for the second time I was ecstatic. We had been trying for a second child unsuccessfully for a long time. At my first ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy my doctor poked and prodded for a minute without making a sound and then turned to my husband and said, “Do you see that?” I very distinctly remember my husband answering, “Is that two?” I immediately started crying…and the tears did not stop for two days.
Don’t get me wrong, I was extremely happy, but terrified at the same time. How were we going to take care of two babies plus our older son? How would we afford everything? What would happen to my body? Would I ever sleep again?
Now that my boy/girl twins are almost 9 months old I have adjusted to being a MoM – a mother of multiples. Luckily I have had a ton of help from family and friends, along with the support from my twin moms group.
The one thing I have yet to get used to is going out in public with my twins and singleton (uh, I had never heard of that term before my multiples). The most frequent comment I hear, between the stares, is “Wow, you have your hands full,” but I’ve learned how to embrace that. Pushing a double stroller while lugging a huge diaper bag and arguing with a three year old who refuses to hold my hand is really quite a sight. But unfortunately that’s not the only comment that I hear from strangers.
• Are they identical? – No, my son is blond and my daughter (who usually wears a headband) has brown hair. And, it’s not physically possible for them to be identical; boys and girls have different body parts.
• Are they natural? – Of course! I may have had a little help, but they are real babies!
• Did you breastfeed? – That’s a pretty personal question from a stranger. Normally I smile and nod yes, but sometimes that even leads to the question of “How?” Figuring that out for myself was hard enough.
• Are they all yours? – Since when did having three children become out of the ordinary? Or do I really look that frazzled?
• I guess you’re done having children. – This one drives me crazy. When I only had one child all everyone asked was when I was having my second. Now that I have three it’s assumed that’s enough?
• I always wanted twins. – Thank you, I guess I make it look easy. Yes, having twins is a very special thing, but it’s a lot of work! Although I get twice the amount of love and cuddles, I also get twice the amount of crying, diapering, feeding, etc. The hardest part is giving each child individual attention.
• You must be tired. – I really need to do something about the dark circles under my eyes. I think all parents are tired, but luckily my twins are great sleepers (at least for now). It’s my three year old that’s up at the crack of dawn.
I try not to take these comments so seriously. Most of the time I answer politely and smile, while I make a snarky remark in my head. It’s not all that bad, in fact it’s pretty amazing.
Any other MoM’s out there with similar experiences? Singleton mommies, what is the most annoying comment you have received from a stranger?