Back to Back Babies: What It’s Really Like

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back to back babiesI am a planner. I knew after college I would attend grad school and then immediately get a job teaching. Then, I would buy a house, get married, and have two kids…all before 30. I ended up doing all those things and much more, but not all of those plans went seamlessly. I always figured I would have my kids two to three years apart.

That was until I had the worst flu while caring for my three-month-old baby. Turns out #nottheflujustbabynumber2. Being a planner, I freaked. Don’t get me wrong, I was thrilled. But how would we ever manage two babies one year apart? Nothing could have prepared me for this.

So here is the real deal…

The difficult thing about having back to back babies is that they are both entirely dependent on us, yet they have entirely different needs. With twins, they both drink milk, they both sleep, they both cry. Difficult in its own right.

With back to back babies…
-One eats food, one drinks milk.
-One has an opinion and tells you one cannot communicate.
-One needs one nap, one needs two.
-One requires lots of chasing, one requires lots of holding.
-One runs across the room, one can’t go anywhere.

This list continues on and on.

I won’t lie. My arms are shot. My brain is scattered. I could probably sleep for days. Physically it is the most demanding job I have ever had.

But here is what you might not know.

When my baby was born, my 13-month-old did not remember life before her. She suddenly had a real-life baby doll to play with and hold. There was absolutely ZERO jealousy. My oldest was too young to remember a time when it was only about her.

With back to back babies…
-They are so close. I mean, SO close. My oldest is obsessed with “her baby,” and the hugs and kisses are endless.
-I am already doing one diaper change; what’s two?
-I am already nap trapped, so what difference does another napping baby make?
-Built-in playmates!
-Diapers and bottles will all be done and gone in no time.
-I never gained my freedom back, to have it stolen from me again.
-Extra love, extra snuggles, extra baby rolls.
-We’re in the thick of it all at once, but we will be out of the thick of it even quicker.
-I don’t need ANYTHING new for my second. They were even born in the same season, so all clothes are passed down.
-What is cuter than one tot in a tub? Two tots in a tub!
-When the second one arrives, you feel like a pro. A year ago, you couldn’t believe someone allowed you to leave the hospital with a baby. Now it’s old hat.

So I may not have imagined my babies being this close in age. And, sure, it scared the crap out of me. But the truth is, I wouldn’t go back and change it. These days may be crazy, but I am certain there will be a time I will wish I could go back in my life.

If you are thinking about having babies close in age, be sure you and your partner work as a team. I find my husband picking up my slack and vice versa. We split duties so that neither of us loses our minds. It’s exhausting, but it’s SO worth it!

Do you have back to back babies? We’d love to know your thoughts!

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Caitlin
Caitlin lives in Shelton with her hard-working and task-oriented husband, two opposite personality daughters, Liliana and Kinley, and her fluffy Goldendoodle, Boomer aka Boomy, Mr. Boombastic, Boombear. She is an enthusiastic kindergarten teacher and wholeheartedly believes in making school fun. Caitlin loves to drop it like it's hot on the dance floor, make the house smell scrumptious by baking a variety of confections, and travel to sunny and tropical destinations. She spends her free time going on all sorts of adventures with her girls, never slowing down or pressing pause. She adores childhood and all the ups and downs that go with it.

1 COMMENT

  1. I’m so glad it worked out well for you, Caitlin! I appreciate the positive story, & i know how important it is for others to be able to find positive outlooks on what may not have been planned, like in your situation. Thank you for that.

    I do also think there’s an opportunity here for awareness that birth spacing isn’t just about personal preference, it’s also about optimal health for moms and babies. If all women were empowered to speak with their OBs/midwives/primary docs following the births of their children about their fertility desires for the upcoming year, and all docs made it a point to initiate these conversations with their patients, then we would start seeing major changes in the rates of premature births and complications for moms in their subsequent pregnancies. The risk does substantially go down after 12-18 months between pregnancies (meaning birth to conception) for complications for both baby & moms. It might be right for some women to have their kiddos closer together, and that’s ok, but discussing it with your healthcare professionals sets everyone up for healthier outcomes. Yay for healthy moms & strong babies!

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