As a mom I have many things to worry about daily. Schedules to keep, meals to make, kids to watch, work to be done among many others. But at the same time, in the back of my mind, always lies the what if? What if something were to happen to me or my husband or God forbid both of us? What would happen to my children? Who could take care of them as good as us? Would they be provided for as we would want them to be? I’m getting choked up just thinking about it, but as parents it is something that we need to seriously consider.
My husband and I have been talking for at least five years about making a Will and all the other things that come with final planning. We bought a house, found out I was pregnant with my son and got life insurance. Sure it was a step in the right direction but still we put off one of the most important things we need to do as adults and parents. My son arrived and still we talked about it, said we NEEDED to do it, and yet the thought of our death and leaving everything behind was pushed aside….as most people do. My daughter arrived last February and still it was a sticky note on the computer, but nothing happened.
For my upcoming birthday I decided that I wanted to go away for the weekend with my husband. My parents are going to watch both kids overnight for two days, which will be a first for all of us! This trip also got me thinking of that “What If?” What if we are in a car accident? What if something happens to us? I decided it was seriously time to think of the unthinkable.
But where to start? I started by talking to my tribe of moms about where others had gone or what they had done, if anything. We all shared the same sentiment that either it had been done recently or yes we NEED to do it. I then went to the internet…..my mind was sent spinning. So many terms, so many things to consider but which is most important for me, for my family?
Last Will & Testament, Living Will, Health Care Power of Attorney, Living Trust, Financial Power of Attorney, where to begin? Do I really need to put all of this in place? The answer is simply yes in order to ensure my children and their future are as bright as I or my husband would want in the event that we are unable to provide it. Here are some things I learned about each of these planning documents.
Last Will & Testamant is simply a document stating your final wishes and finalizing your wishes for all that is left behind. A Living Will is used in the event that you are unable to make health care decisions for yourself in the future. You are able to specify your wishes such as using life support to sustain or prolong life when you are unable to. Health Care Power of Attorney is assigning someone to make these health decisions for you. A Living Trust makes sure your assets are distributed to your beneficiaries at the time of your death. This trust is created during your lifetime and then distributed at the time of your death. Finally a Financial Power of Attorney manages your financials in the event that you are unable to. Phew…I hope that helps clarify things a little bit.
Many friends have had positive experiences (if that’s possible in doing such a thing) with local lawyers and estate planners. I reached out to my local moms group on Facebook and was able to obtain names of people who had positive reviews and were reasonably priced. I decided for me, after doing my research online and talking to people about their experiences, the only sure way I would get some final planning done was through Legal Zoom. The website is easy to use and guides you step by step through creating each document. I have only completed my Last Will & Testament at this time but know I need to continue and plan everything to know that my children are provided for in the event I can’t.
I feel better knowing that I have something in place if the “What If” comes sooner than later. I find comfort in the fact that the people I have entrusted my children to will give them the life that I would want. I find it reassuring to know that I have made the decision if my family is presented with health questions. It takes the burden off of them and gives me the power to end my life the way I want to. Final planning isn’t something many like to think about but in the end it only benefits those that we leave behind.
