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Who? Oh Yeah, My Husband

I sat down with the intention of writing about maintaining friendships.  Friendships with colleagues, mommy group friends, old friends, best friends, family friends, and friends that live far away.  When I became a mother I knowingly put forth a great deal of effort to maintain these friendships because I knew my priorities would shift.  I value all the different relationships in my life because they are all so different, and I rely on them to bring out the best in me.

I love to go out for drinks with friends from work and gossip.  I love to text my mom friends throughout the day (especially the really bad days) with crazy things that have happened or questions that randomly pop into my head.  I love my BFF that I can call/text any time with both good news and bad.  And I can always count on my sisters for a good laugh or a last minute babysitter!  BUT I’ve forgotten the most important relationship in my life…my husband.  And I have to confess, I’ve been forgetting about him an awful lot.

Lately he’s been the guy who leaves his dirty laundry on the floor (right next the hamper).  He’s the guy who needs 20 reminders to complete a task.  He’s the guy that is stressed from work and has very little patience.

However, he is also the guy that makes my coffee just the way I like it every morning.  He’s the guy that gets up in the middle of the night when my oldest son gets up to use the bathroom.  He’s the guy who makes dinner and stays home with our three kids once a week.  He’s the guy I fell in love with.

A few reminders that he's worth the extra effort.

A few reminders that he’s worth the extra effort.

How could I forget about him!?  Why do I focus on all the things that drive me crazy?  Especially when the list of wonderful things is so much longer and more meaningful.  Why do I put forth more effort with girlfriends than my own partner?

Would I ever snap at a friend from work because they completed a task differently than I would have?  NO!  Would I nag and nag my BFF until she gave in to what I wanted to do?  NO!  Would I sit and complain to my mommy friends about how tired I am after a long day of being stuck inside with my three kids the moment they walked through the door?  MAYBE!

In the struggle to find a balance between my kids, work, friends, and maintaining a sense of self, I’ve neglected the one relationship that has kept me grounded.  I might not always like my husband, but I sure do love him!  I need to put forth the same effort as I do with my female friends.

I guess the biggest change I can make (to start) is to just be a little nicer…okay a lot nicer to my husband.  I need to think before I speak.  I need to pay more attention to all the great things he does and focus on how hard he works each day to make the best life for our family.

Please tell me I’m not the only mommy who’s neglected their relationship with their partner.  How do you maintain your friendships…both with girlfriends and your significant other?

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2 Responses to Who? Oh Yeah, My Husband

  1. Allison Hughes-Randall
    Allison Hughes-Randall July 8, 2014 at 7:49 AM #

    Oh, this one couldn’t be more true to life for me – and I only have one child! My husband and I sat down a few months ago and hashed out all of the things that have changed since baby A, which has helped quite a bit, though we’re still working on it. I don’t think most people really get how much a baby changes things until they’re in the heat of it or until it’s too late. I highly recommend sitting down with your spouse and coming up with a plan on how to not let it get too far.

  2. Michelle
    Michelle July 8, 2014 at 12:49 PM #

    Thanks for the advice Allison! I knew life with children would change things, but I never expected how much!

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