Perks of Being an “Older Mom”

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older momI remember the day my students asked me, “Are you EVER going to have a kid? No offense, but aren’t you like 30?” I was, in fact, 32. I remember when, at 39, I announced my pregnancy and got some interesting responses. Aside from looks of confusion, many asked me the, “How old are you?” question, as if to remind me that I was no longer 25. There was even one woman who assured me that I was “brave” to take on raising a child in my old age.

Despite the fact that most of my friends had children in their mid to late thirties, I was still attacked with a barrage of commentary about why I had chosen some fate worse than death. I’m happy to say that I lived to tell the tale. (I haven’t attempted potty training so stay tuned). I’m also happy to report that there are some awesome things about being an “older” mom.

Been There, Done That

Danced at a club until 4 a.m.? Yup. Traveled to lots of places? Sure did. Had my own apartment? Absolutely. Wasted lots of money going out to fancy dinners and buying stuff I didn’t need? I have copies of the credit card bills to prove it. Married the wrong guy and escaped unscathed? That, too. 

While I certainly still have a running “bucket list,” I’ve found that a good percentage of the things I wanted to do on my own, I experienced in my 20’s and early 30’s. I don’t have any regrets about places I should have gone or things I should have done. The things I want to do now are ones that I want to experience with my child. Things like going to Disney or Sesame Place, taking pictures with Santa and the Easter Bunny, and experiencing my childhood all over again are now on my “to-do” list, and that suits me just fine!

Financial Stability

If you were lucky enough to graduate from college without any debt, power to you.  Unfortunately, like most of my friends and colleagues, I had some debt due to student loans. Most of my 20’s were spent paying back student loans and trying to secure a job in my chosen career. At 28, I had a career change and had to go back to school to pursue another degree. Lots of money was wasted on going out, renting an apartment in a “fun” neighborhood, and buying clothes to go out every weekend. 

Being in your 40’s pretty much means that you probably have a nice chunk of change in your retirement account, have a fairly stable residence, and have cars you aren’t ashamed to drive. Let’s not revisit my 1979 Pea Green Chevy Malibu, please! Having a little more financial cushion is helpful when raising a child since having a child puts a small dent into your surplus cash flow. I don’t think that I would have felt comfortable enough to be a stay-at-home mom without the perks of being a little more financially stable.

Career Stability

While I have to admit, nobody these days is safe from layoffs or firings, but having been in the industry for over ten years, I’ve made a few connections. People know my work ethic by now and because of that, I felt a tiny bit safer taking some time off to take care of my daughter. Since I was a career-changer, leaving a new job of only two years or so would have made it difficult for me to return after a long gap. It definitely wouldn’t have been impossible, but without the five or more years of experience in any job, going back would be like starting all over again. When I was just starting out, I really wouldn’t have felt as comfortable taking a whole year off without having established a strong presence. For me, waiting a bit actually worked out better.

Sure, there are lots of reasons why having a baby as an older mom is tougher. I’m probably more tired than moms in their 20’s, my body certainly didn’t bounce back as quickly as it might have if I had given birth when I was a bit younger, but I’m okay with that. I know that waiting even longer for my beautiful baby girl has given me the opportunity to spend lots of time with her and to appreciate her all the more.

Have you had the same experience as an “older mom?” How did people react to your pregnancy?

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