Mommy Wars – May the Odds be Ever in your Favor

0
back-to-school-999248_1920
Back to school. Back to Mommy Wars?

September is upon us, and with that, the return to school, more structure, and the anxiety of all the questions school brings in. And…the so-called, dreaded Mommy Wars.

My son started preschool last year. My daughter starts this year. In the days leading up to this momentous beginning to their academic careers I was wracked with questions; “Will they make friends?” “Will they behave for the teacher(s)?” “Will we have Pinterest-perfect preschool pictures?” And so on… You’ve been there, or you’re on your way there….you get it.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the feeling of tension, not camaraderie, between the Moms.

I’ve never paid much, if any, attention to the so called “Mommy Wars” but all of the sudden I felt the need to fit in with the Moms just as much as I wanted my kids to be accepted.

I noticed there were many women who seemed to know each other. Some Moms obviously (i.e. they weren’t wearing yoga pants like me) went to work after drop-off, some didn’t. Some Moms I would smile at and get a blank glare back.

I didn’t get it. I had anticipated instant bonding over our kids silly/crazy/frustrating behavior and coffee while the kids were ensconced in finger paint with play dates on non-school days. But instead, I felt disconnected.

mommy wars
The Mommy guidelines

I thought, maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m giving off the wrong “vibe,” maybe I’m not as open as I thought I was. Maybe these Moms don’t like me for some reason.

But then I realized…inadvertently I was buying into the “Mommy Wars”

How hard would it be for ME to ask someone for a coffee break? How hard would it be for ME to take an extra moment to break the ice?

Maybe, just maybe, the other Mom is feeling the same insecurities as I am. Maybe, just maybe, we need to reach across the aisle and let someone know…I get it and I’m here for you. As Moms, we all do it differently. What’s right for me, may not be right for you.

Formula feed? Great. Breastfeed? Awesome.

Vegan? Cool! How does that work for you?

Allergies? Wow, how do you navigate that?

Work outside the home? Good for you. How do you find balance?

Stay at home Mom? Not everyone can do it! What do you do to keep the kids entertained while you also manage the household?

Instead of letting these things be the barriers that divide us, why don’t we start the new school year exploring new friendships and viewpoints ourselves? Let’s be brave, and reach a hand out to say…we might have different lives, but we’re both raising kids in 2016…what works for you?

mommy wars
Celebrate being a great “Bad Mom”

I recently had an amazing conversation with another Mom that I had just met; we happened to be at the same party. We got to talking, and I peppered her with questions. Many aspects of her life were vastly different than mine. But I wanted to know why, and how she did it, and how she came to decide those things were best for her family. Not because I was judging, but because I was genuinely interested. I thought we really hit it off.

We’re all Moms. I know that your main goal, just like mine, is to provide the best possible life and experiences for your kids. To raise them to be good, kind, and well-rounded people. So, this school year…show the “Mommy Wars” who the REAL boss is, get out there defy the “wars” and make some new friends. May the odds be ever in your favor.MAY THE ODDS

What has your experience been? We’d love to know!

Previous articleParenting Hypocrisy
Next articleA Mom’s Guide to Fairfield County: September 2016
Kate M
Kate is a full time Virtual Assistant for a large internet marketer and several smaller entrepreneurs. She spends her VA hours keeping her clients calm and focused while she takes care of all of the back end project management and customer happiness. Most often found with a cup of coffee in hand, she spends many of her VA hours also juggling Mommy hours for her two precocious and high energy kiddos Jax and Brenna. Kate and her family just relocated back to the area from Colorado where they lived for 7 years. A Fairfield County native, Kate is thrilled to be home and sharing some of her own favorite childhood memories and re-living them vicariously through her children.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here