My oldest son is 5 1/2 years old, and since he was 7 months old, we have known he has multiple food allergies. It’s been helpful that he is an eat-to-live rather than a live-to-eat kind of kid. When he was younger, we were able to not really worry about the food part of the holidays because he was content to just eat whatever we gave him. Sometimes he even just ate before the event. As he has grown, it’s become more of a challenge to accommodate his allergies, which have lessened (dairy, nuts, sesame and eggs unless they are baked), because he is more socially aware and sensitive to being different. It has always been my goal to have my son focus on the celebration rather than the food.
As I prepare for this holiday season with many family parties, I feel like I am preparing for war. Luckily, most of our events are at family homes, which helps me control the food and eliminate some of the stigma from bringing our own. For the parties that are at restaurants, I follow FARE’s recommendations for how to eat safely. I have found that restaurants want to accommodate as best they can and will always go above and beyond what I thought reasonable.
For our holidays at family and friends’ homes, I always start by asking what the menu will be a few weeks before the event. This gives me time to search Pinterest to find recipes I *think* he will eat and seem within my culinary wheelhouse. Regardless of the main dishes, I always bring extra food that I know he will eat. It’s usually something that doesn’t need to be cooked, and is fast and easy. This makes it easier to keep him at the table with me and to get him to eat. And sometimes I even have him eat in the car if need be.
The most helpful tip ever shared with me about surviving parties and holidays was to always try to have an activity or two that all the kids can do. This is the great equalizer. Sometimes I just bring games, play dough or art supplies. When I want to up my game or know it’s going to be a more food intense event, I try to provide sugar cookies to decorate for the season. At the end of the day, I not only want to keep my son safe, but I also want him to feel included.
