Growing up in a family with a lot of siblings and cousins, I always thought I wanted to have a large family myself. I was the person who said she wanted to have five (!) kids and be a stay-at-home mom. When I started my family I had already been working for 10 years. I knew that I wanted to continue my career, so staying home wasn’t going to be for me anymore. My husband and I also had very honest conversations before we got married about how many kids we wanted. He said 0-2 and I said 3-5. Ugh…We eventually settled on, “at least two and we’ll see how it goes.” Turns out that two is the perfect number for us.
After my second son was born in 2012 I was still uncertain about being done, but my husband was 100% positive that this baby was our last. We all know that babies are not easy. They disrupt our sleep, our marriages, our homes, our lives. However, we have them because we love them and for all of the joy that they bring us. We make it through the baby stage eventually, and they become functioning children and eventually adults.
The minute I knew I was done having kids didn’t come until my son’s first birthday. By the time my first son was turning one year old, I was already thinking about baby number two. This time around, the thought of another one put me over the edge. I had just been offered a full-time position at work, which I was thrilled to take. Not going to have a baby this year… At his second birthday I was in the thick of it with two toddler/preschoolers and was not ready to take another one on. So it didn’t happen. By the time my kids were 3 and 5, they were such a great pair. I was able to manage them and myself at the same time. I was coming out of a deep fog that I didn’t even realize I was in. Once potty training was done, that sealed the deal for me. I am not going back to the baby phase ever again and I am OK with it!
My dreams of a big family look a little different nowadays than they did when I was a daydreaming teen planning my life. I am a working mom of two instead of a stay at home mom of five. My kids are the only grandchildren on my side of the family, and they have one cousin on my husband’s side. However, my cousins, aunts and friends all act as “aunties” to my boys. They are well loved and they can feel it. Our family is based in quality, not quantity; and that is truly all I have ever wanted for us.
What is your “magic” number? Are you done or ready for more?