Effectively Communicate With Your Child’s Teacher: A Mom’s Guide

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talking to teacherThe school year lasts ten month and parents get approximately 20 minutes per year to spend with their child’s teacher! Even though parents and students may have concerns throughout the year, too many wait for the five minutes they get at a parent-teacher conference. While both parents and teachers are busy, it’s important to be proactive in your child’s education. Here are some ways to effectively communicate with your child’s teacher.

Be Specific: I taught in a public school system that served an urban population. My class sizes were around 32 students, and I taught five different class sections a day. On any given day, I taught over 150 students. Like most teachers, I spent my non-teaching periods grading papers, attending meetings, or participating in activities designed to engage students in a less-formal way. While I could discern which voice whispered a question in the back of my room without hesitation, it wasn’t often that I could remember the exact, current grade point average of all 150 students off the top of my head. Often, parents would see me after school and ask “how’s Joey doing?’ and as long as Joey didn’t have a red flag in my head, I would most often answer that he was doing just fine. For parents who are concerned about specific academic issues, this type of casual exchange leaves many questions unanswered. There are lots of things that could be going on, but if specific things are on your radar, it’s important to address them with your child’s teacher as soon as possible.

Classroom
Classroom

Disclose any Learning Difficulties: There is a great deal of controversy about this topic. I have had many parents tell me that they didn’t disclose a difficulty to teachers because they didn’t want their child to be treated differently. In my humble opinion, that’s just silly. Long ago, someone likened having a learning difiiculty to providing someone with medical care. Would we deny someone crutches if their leg was broken because we didn’t want them to be treated differently? Of course not! The same logic can be applied here. A child who has difficulties with vision, might be able to have the handouts printed larger, or someone with ADHD might prefer a black and white article without the distractions of a color printout. These small things can make a huge difference in your child’s classroom experience, so please disclose what you know as early in the year as you can.

Don’t Wait! Many parents feel that it is important to encourage independence by taking a “hands off” approach.  While I do agree that children need to be held accountable for their own work and developing skills for pacing, a child should not be abandoned until report card time. A child who frequently has no homework, no reading, or no upcoming tests is surely headed for disaster. While I don’t encourage parents to plead for makeup work or extra credit, I do encourage them to touch base with their child’s teacher to find out what is going on. A simple email might help enlighten the parent as to what types of assignments are typical and if there have been any missed assignments. If your child has missed assignments, don’t assume that it’s just laziness! Your child may be having difficulty in the class or may need some help organizing and prioritizing deadlines, a skill that many ADD/ADHD sufferers struggle to master. On the other hand, missed assignments due to apathy or social distractions have their own set of consequences as well. There is lots of evidence to support letting your child “fail” to send the message that there are natural consequences.

Bring Your Child: This is one of my favorite ways to engage students in their own education. Very often, parents come to conferences and it becomes a he said/she said conversation about what the child said and what they are hearing from me. When the child attends the meeting, much of that back and forth conversation is gone, because we can address any misunderstandings together. We can also talk to the child directly and discuss any issues and concerns with what I call a 360 degree view. The more perspectives we gather, the better we can help one another.

Juggling School Activities
Juggling School Activities

Schedule a Follow-Up: Once everyone has determined a course of action (whether it be remediation, enrichment, or outside evaluation), it’s important to connect again in a month or two to discuss progress and determine any changes to the plan of action. This is super important for parents to do, as many teachers are left in the dark when it comes to outside evaluations. If your child has been evaluated by an outside professional, it is important that you share the outcome with your child’s teacher as it can help her make any changes to assist in your child’s learning.  Note: You do not have to disclose the contents of the evaluation, or any details that you feel may be private, just the information that directly impacts your child’s learning.

With overcrowded schools, busy parents and teachers, and curriculum that can be confusing, it is so important that parents and teachers stay in contact with one another for the benefit of all children. When a child knows that there are multiple adults looking out for his/her well-being, the results are spectacular.

What are some great ways you have found to communicate with your child’s teacher?

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