As I’m writing this, I have a little over 4 months left until our family becomes a party of four. It finally sunk in that I became a mom of two when I was transitioning my daughter’s playroom into her new bedroom this past weekend. A light went off in my brain when I moved her clothes from her nursery to her big girl room, and it struck me that, holy crap, we are actually going to have another newborn soon! But I won’t be a first-time mom.
It got me thinking about my daughter’s birth and her first few months of life {and my first few months of becoming a new mom}. Man, some days, it felt like I was barely staying afloat, but I realized that, somehow, we made it through to the other side. And by the other side, of course, I mean the Terrible Twos, which I am slightly less skeptical of surviving than the newborn stage. However, I am sure that I’ll make it out alive of this stage, too, as long as I don’t accidentally break any bananas or granola bars in half when she wants them whole or I don’t ask her if she wants to wear her Minion shirt when she truly wants to wear her Minnie Mouse shirt… But I digress…
When we were in the thick of it, and my daughter was only a few weeks old, a friend told me that even though it feels like it will last forever, you will look back and realize that it really went by in the blink of the eye, and that’s why you will agree to have the next baby. That is the best advice that someone has ever given me. It helped me survive and appreciate the newborn stage because I realized that it really was a very small period of time when you look back at it.
I am sure that there will be a ton of things that I will learn this time around, especially when juggling a toddler and a newborn. But if I could go back now and write a letter to myself as a first-time mom, it would go something like this…
Dear First-Time Mom,
Let me start by saying this – you are doing great. I know you’ve probably heard that a lot and probably don’t feel like you are doing great, but you are. Even though you were as prepared as you could be, your entire world changed the minute that little baby was born and you realized that there was actually no way to prepare for what was to come. All of a sudden, your days now revolve around the baby eating, the baby playing, the baby pooping, and the baby sleeping. I know you wish that the baby would sleep more at night, but I promise you that you will miss those nighttime feedings one day. You will eventually get a full night’s sleep again. Just not tonight.
Hold on to those precious naps, first smiles, and giggles, and know that they are moments to appreciate. In the words of Trace Adkins, you’re going to miss this, even if you don’t think you will right now.
At the same time, I know that all of the moments aren’t precious. Those people that are telling you to enjoy every moment don’t remember the bad times. There are times when being a mom {especially with a newborn} isn’t fun. Especially that time when you were on your way to take newborn pictures, and she projectile pooped all over your white shirt, after you had taken hours to decide what to wear. I can vividly remember those days when my daughter barely slept and wouldn’t stop crying, but even remembering those, I’m still telling you that you need to appreciate this time.
This phase will be over soon, and you will be on to the next phase, which will come along with its own challenges and rewards. Just wait until the first time she crawls or the first time she says “mommy”… you’ll wonder when she grew up into such a little lady. My daughter has the biggest heart and that’s because of all of the love that I pour into her, so just keep on doing what you’re doing and enjoy the ride, because it’s a beautiful one.
With love from an experienced mama.
PS – You don’t really need all of those infant shoes and dresses. She’s not going to wear them! I just unpacked all of my daughter’s baby shoes for her sister’s closet, and it really was an obscene amount – what was I thinking?
PPS – My daughter is just fine {more than fine} even though I was only able to breastfeed her until I went back to work, so take some pressure off yourself and don’t stress out. Try your best to get further this time around!
