Who am I?
Hi readers! My name is Ashley and I currently live in Trumbull with my husband, our 5 year old son, Jimmy, and our 2 year old daughter, Amy Ruth. I am a stay-at-home mom during the week, however, I work full-time as a NICU nurse on weekend nights. I am also a special-needs mom, as both of my children were diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. I have lived in Fairfield County since 1993, other than when I went away to college. It is my home. I am very lucky to be raising my children in this area, surrounded by family, friends, and familiarity.
A year in transition and new roles in motherhood.
Although I have technically been a mom for 5 years, my husband was a stay at home dad until this past August. Since I “only” work 3 days a week (they’re very long 14 hour days – including commuting time), we were both home with our children the other 4 days. I was never home alone with my kids without my husband there to help me. Once my husband started working outside the home, I developed a new role as a mom. I changed my schedule to work weekend nights, in order to be home with the kids during the week. Let me tell you, being home with the kids is definitely one of the most difficult jobs in the world! There is a very steep learning curve. It requires an infinite amount of patience, dedication, understanding, and ability to “roll with the punches,” which is something I’ve never been very good at.
Learning to be the best mom I can be.
This year, in addition to my new role as a “pseudo stay-at-home mom,” we faced some issues as a family, that pushed me, challenged me, and tried me. At the same time they also shaped me, molded me, and sculpted me into the best mom I can be. During one of our many visits and phone calls with the pediatrician, I remember apologizing for calling him too much about an on-going issue with my son. His response was, “Don’t apologize. You were advocating for your child. You’re his mom. Nobody else will fight and advocate for him more than you will.”
Those words were life-changing for me. Instantly, my self-esteem was boosted. Those words made me realize that there is a job out there that I can do better than anybody else; and that’s being a mom to MY children. There are moms out there who cook better than I do. There are moms out there who have a cleaner house than I do. There are moms out there who sit down with their children for crafty projects and designs. Those moms are the best moms for THEIR children. NOBODY can be a mom to MY children like I can. Being the best at something, and recognizing that I am the best at something built up my confidence!
I took the pediatrician’s advice to heart. I have pushed for more medical tests when I did not feel satisfied with a doctor’s diagnosis. I have requested meetings with teachers and principals, when I did not think things were going well in the schools. And when the teachers and principals do not have the answers, I have escalated my concerns to the superintendents. My children only have one mom – me. I will forever advocate and fight for my children, as their mother, in a way that only I can.
