If you’re the parent of a toddler or preschooler you’ve probably already heard many of the classic bedtime stalling excuses. “I’m thirsty,” and “I need to go potty,” are a staple of every child’s repertoire, as are “I have a tummy ache,” “I’m scared,” and “I need a hug.”
Some children, however, take the art of bedtime excuses to a whole new level. I’ve heard some incredibly creative excuses over the years. Here are just a few of my all-time favorites, straight from the mouths of my client’s babes…
- Can I have some butter?
- I need some fried rice
- Teddy’s farting – it’s stinky in here!
- Fishy needs a bath
- Elmo pooped on my head
- Elmo peed on my bed
- I can’t find Elmo (said while holding Elmo)
- My hair hates that pillow
- I’m mad at the wall
- My feet stink
- My belly button’s itchy
- I need a balloon
- My eyelids are stuck
- My eyelids are boring
- My teeth are too fat
- My bed’s too small ( 5 year old on a queen size mattress)
- My sheets are too pink (sheets were green)
- My pillow got stolen! (shouted while sitting on pillow)
- My socks are too tight (not wearing socks)
- There’s a bug up my nose
- There’s a sad cow in the closet
- I want to sleep in the bathtub
- The cat’s tail is too loud
- The baby’s too quiet
- The lamp won’t stop talking
- The rug is too ugly
- The clock is confused
- My dreams are TOO BORING!
- Superheroes like me don’t NEED sleep!
- I’ll sleep if you pay me
- I might need to tell you something
And the one that works every time…
- You guys need a hug
Ten minutes after putting my two year old to bed, I hear hysterical crying. I go up to check on her and she is sitting up in the corner of the crib. “Big (her stuffed lamb) won’t share the pillow!”